Complaincasting
Went into the office yesterday to join the crew in meeting Skiddy for dinner. He’ll be in all next week so I’ll drive in again. Good to see the guys.
I came across some old docs today, including something I posted on Tribalwar some time ago. The Tribes community suffers from a series of ills, not the least of which is an overabundance of assholes. Soon after the much underappreciated Tribes 2 was released, I wrote the following for a few of them.
My friends, disappointment fills our forums. It seems that in almost every post, the angry voice of some longstanding Tribes player rages at the inadequacies of this thing that dares to liken itself after the monument to greatness that was and is Tribes. As eloquently asked elsewhere, are we sheep to stand for such treatment? Are we marching to the slaughter of the Tribes franchise? Never! And in our fury, I believe that we have already thrown off our sheep’s clothing; that we have created an entirely new sport that may even eclipse Tribes itself. I propose that together we formally embrace our collective creation and announce the birth of a new and better pastime: Competitive Complaining!
Whose post can truly incite us to violence? Can you alone destroy Dynamix, Sierra, and the entire Tribes 2 community? Or will it take a coordinated assault of flame-bait from your teammates to take the match and win glory for your rants? Yes, this is the competition that we crave!
"Preposterous," you say? But many of you are already competitively complaining. Read a few of the forums in-game or on TribalWar and you'll notice the determined one-upmanship characteristic of a serious sport. After one Competitive Complainer napalms the Tribes 2 community, the next CCer counters by placing all blame on newbies, only to be outflanked by a third CCer who defends the first post and adds to its sentiment his desire to lynch the Dev Team!
Yes, my friends, born in the flames of our forums, Competitive Complaining rises from the ashes keeping us entertained and only further enraged. Just feel the excitement well up within as I complain cast a recent exchange:
shmigget -- "RabidLeper opened this match with a devastating assault and a quick grab, but let’s see if he can outrun the chasers. He’s got ZooL on his tail now firing some quick insults."
ZooL -- What a horrible attempt at sounding intelligent. Learn not to sound smug and smitten next time.
shmigget -- "But RabidLeper has got some escorts and his teammates are defending him with all guns blazing! ZooL’s getting outflanked by GigaFool:"
GigaFool -- Tribes 1 started with powerful teams, and ended (or so we thought) with powerful teams. Tribes 2 started with a ton of powerful teams, and now has about 3. How long will it be before the rest of you guys realize why you're playing this game? POE did.
shmigget -- "Oh, that’s gotta hurt! And folks it’s Merlock with GigaFool on escort now attempting to drop that chaser!"
Merlock -- I shoutcast Tribes 2, frankly because TsN hasn't figured out a new game to cast yet. Once we do, I doubt I will use my T2 CD for anything other than a coaster. God, responding to these people... I can just FEEL my IQ dropping. How do you manage it Giga? Crack?
shmigget -- "And Merlock’s amazing insult on the intelligence if his opponents does it! SCORE!"
No need to wait for something new to shoutcast. We’ve already found a replacement with Competitive Complaining. Soundpacks will add spice to each exchange as famous whiny actors breath life into your favorite Tribes 2 lamentations. Imagine Fran Drescher in character as "The Nanny" crying, "But I liked the Shrike better the first time!" Or Woody Allen asking, "Oh, why does the Dev Team hate me?" Add these and more to give your side the winning whine!
But there’s no need to stop with whining! Categories for competition span the gamut. Here’s an incomplete list with suggestions for soundpack voice actors:
Whining (e.g. "Tribes 2 has victimized me! I shall sue for emotional distress!" I can hear David Hyde Pierce of Frasier fame voicing this one)
Flaming (e.g. "The enormity of your all-encompassing stupidity only pales in comparison to the crap that is Tribes 2!" Al Pacino in righteous rage.)
Curse Cramming (e.g. "Fuck all you fuckin’ fucktard bitches who bother playing this fuckin’ bullshit!" Ice Cube layin’ the cut straight!)
Newbie Bashing (e.g. "As a Tribes veteran of almost thirty-five years, I say we reinstitute the inquisition and watch you newbies squirm at the bright end of a burning pyre!" Jack Nicholson, we want you on that wall!)
And the obligatory Tribes 1 vs. Tribes 2 category (e.g. "You wanna know the most damning problem with Tribes 2? It ain’t Tribes 1!" Hmm ... Christopher Walken?)
By providing in-game forums, Dynamix encouraged the birth and growth of this nascent pursuit, and it’s time that we, my friends, elevated Competitive Complaining to it’s rightful place in the annals of sport. Let out motto be, "Deride, insult, and above all, keep complaining!"
I came across some old docs today, including something I posted on Tribalwar some time ago. The Tribes community suffers from a series of ills, not the least of which is an overabundance of assholes. Soon after the much underappreciated Tribes 2 was released, I wrote the following for a few of them.
My friends, disappointment fills our forums. It seems that in almost every post, the angry voice of some longstanding Tribes player rages at the inadequacies of this thing that dares to liken itself after the monument to greatness that was and is Tribes. As eloquently asked elsewhere, are we sheep to stand for such treatment? Are we marching to the slaughter of the Tribes franchise? Never! And in our fury, I believe that we have already thrown off our sheep’s clothing; that we have created an entirely new sport that may even eclipse Tribes itself. I propose that together we formally embrace our collective creation and announce the birth of a new and better pastime: Competitive Complaining!
Whose post can truly incite us to violence? Can you alone destroy Dynamix, Sierra, and the entire Tribes 2 community? Or will it take a coordinated assault of flame-bait from your teammates to take the match and win glory for your rants? Yes, this is the competition that we crave!
"Preposterous," you say? But many of you are already competitively complaining. Read a few of the forums in-game or on TribalWar and you'll notice the determined one-upmanship characteristic of a serious sport. After one Competitive Complainer napalms the Tribes 2 community, the next CCer counters by placing all blame on newbies, only to be outflanked by a third CCer who defends the first post and adds to its sentiment his desire to lynch the Dev Team!
Yes, my friends, born in the flames of our forums, Competitive Complaining rises from the ashes keeping us entertained and only further enraged. Just feel the excitement well up within as I complain cast a recent exchange:
shmigget -- "RabidLeper opened this match with a devastating assault and a quick grab, but let’s see if he can outrun the chasers. He’s got ZooL on his tail now firing some quick insults."
ZooL -- What a horrible attempt at sounding intelligent. Learn not to sound smug and smitten next time.
shmigget -- "But RabidLeper has got some escorts and his teammates are defending him with all guns blazing! ZooL’s getting outflanked by GigaFool:"
GigaFool -- Tribes 1 started with powerful teams, and ended (or so we thought) with powerful teams. Tribes 2 started with a ton of powerful teams, and now has about 3. How long will it be before the rest of you guys realize why you're playing this game? POE did.
shmigget -- "Oh, that’s gotta hurt! And folks it’s Merlock with GigaFool on escort now attempting to drop that chaser!"
Merlock -- I shoutcast Tribes 2, frankly because TsN hasn't figured out a new game to cast yet. Once we do, I doubt I will use my T2 CD for anything other than a coaster. God, responding to these people... I can just FEEL my IQ dropping. How do you manage it Giga? Crack?
shmigget -- "And Merlock’s amazing insult on the intelligence if his opponents does it! SCORE!"
No need to wait for something new to shoutcast. We’ve already found a replacement with Competitive Complaining. Soundpacks will add spice to each exchange as famous whiny actors breath life into your favorite Tribes 2 lamentations. Imagine Fran Drescher in character as "The Nanny" crying, "But I liked the Shrike better the first time!" Or Woody Allen asking, "Oh, why does the Dev Team hate me?" Add these and more to give your side the winning whine!
But there’s no need to stop with whining! Categories for competition span the gamut. Here’s an incomplete list with suggestions for soundpack voice actors:
Whining (e.g. "Tribes 2 has victimized me! I shall sue for emotional distress!" I can hear David Hyde Pierce of Frasier fame voicing this one)
Flaming (e.g. "The enormity of your all-encompassing stupidity only pales in comparison to the crap that is Tribes 2!" Al Pacino in righteous rage.)
Curse Cramming (e.g. "Fuck all you fuckin’ fucktard bitches who bother playing this fuckin’ bullshit!" Ice Cube layin’ the cut straight!)
Newbie Bashing (e.g. "As a Tribes veteran of almost thirty-five years, I say we reinstitute the inquisition and watch you newbies squirm at the bright end of a burning pyre!" Jack Nicholson, we want you on that wall!)
And the obligatory Tribes 1 vs. Tribes 2 category (e.g. "You wanna know the most damning problem with Tribes 2? It ain’t Tribes 1!" Hmm ... Christopher Walken?)
By providing in-game forums, Dynamix encouraged the birth and growth of this nascent pursuit, and it’s time that we, my friends, elevated Competitive Complaining to it’s rightful place in the annals of sport. Let out motto be, "Deride, insult, and above all, keep complaining!"
posted by Christopher A. Dellario at 8:46 PM
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