Meet Jules
As promised, here’s a taste of what I’ve been writing over the past few days. Meet Jules …
Juliet "Jules" Johnson
Hi, I’m Jules. I’m a Juliet, but that’s so 16th Century. Not that I don't dig on the Big Bard — my first degrees were in World Literature and Drama — but History is more my thing. And besides, me do seppuku over a cow-eyed kid? C’mon! Baby, if I’m going to off myself, it had better be because I’m doing it to save the world. That or my ex-husband wants the Jaguar back.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. It’s not one of those stuffy Jags, the kind that blue-haired grannies drive to their own funerals. It’s a fast one, and I’m hoping you won’t ask me any more about it because I won’t know. If a thing isn’t at least a hundred years old I don’t know jack about it. Now ask me how a trebuchet works and I’ll be like, “Chinese or European?” If you ever want to storm a castle, I’m your gal.
China’s a wonderful country. I love the language. Because it’s tonal, you’re singing all the time. It’s like opera. I saw a lot of beautiful things in China, and some that weren’t so … beautiful. That’s where I learned that not all of the monsters in pre-modern texts were dolphins or elephants or someone’s opium nightmare. Monsters are very real, and they are older than anything we know.
So, that’s why I got a call from an old friend saying I should come to Farmingham, New Hampshire. This town is sporting the first new Hellmouth in I can’t tell you how long. Well, I might be able to tell you how long but I’d have to think really hard, and besides, it would be depressing. I used to get depressed a lot; it goes with the manic highs. It was really bad after the divorce, but we all find ways to cope, don’t we? Some people do therapy and Prozac, but I stick to the classics. Ben Franklin said, "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." I’ll drink to that.
Juliet "Jules" Johnson
Hi, I’m Jules. I’m a Juliet, but that’s so 16th Century. Not that I don't dig on the Big Bard — my first degrees were in World Literature and Drama — but History is more my thing. And besides, me do seppuku over a cow-eyed kid? C’mon! Baby, if I’m going to off myself, it had better be because I’m doing it to save the world. That or my ex-husband wants the Jaguar back.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. It’s not one of those stuffy Jags, the kind that blue-haired grannies drive to their own funerals. It’s a fast one, and I’m hoping you won’t ask me any more about it because I won’t know. If a thing isn’t at least a hundred years old I don’t know jack about it. Now ask me how a trebuchet works and I’ll be like, “Chinese or European?” If you ever want to storm a castle, I’m your gal.
China’s a wonderful country. I love the language. Because it’s tonal, you’re singing all the time. It’s like opera. I saw a lot of beautiful things in China, and some that weren’t so … beautiful. That’s where I learned that not all of the monsters in pre-modern texts were dolphins or elephants or someone’s opium nightmare. Monsters are very real, and they are older than anything we know.
So, that’s why I got a call from an old friend saying I should come to Farmingham, New Hampshire. This town is sporting the first new Hellmouth in I can’t tell you how long. Well, I might be able to tell you how long but I’d have to think really hard, and besides, it would be depressing. I used to get depressed a lot; it goes with the manic highs. It was really bad after the divorce, but we all find ways to cope, don’t we? Some people do therapy and Prozac, but I stick to the classics. Ben Franklin said, "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." I’ll drink to that.
posted by Christopher A. Dellario at 7:11 PM
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