Friday, September 16, 2005

Meet Jules

As promised, here’s a taste of what I’ve been writing over the past few days.  Meet Jules …


Juliet "Jules" Johnson

Hi, I’m Jules.  I’m a Juliet, but that’s so 16th Century.  Not that I don't dig on the Big Bard — my first degrees were in World Literature and Drama — but History is more my thing.  And besides, me do seppuku over a cow-eyed kid?  C’mon!  Baby, if I’m going to off myself, it had better be because I’m doing it to save the world.  That or my ex-husband wants the Jaguar back.

Oh, don’t get me wrong.  It’s not one of those stuffy Jags, the kind that blue-haired grannies drive to their own funerals.  It’s a fast one, and I’m hoping you won’t ask me any more about it because I won’t know.  If a thing isn’t at least a hundred years old I don’t know jack about it.  Now ask me how a trebuchet works and I’ll be like, “Chinese or European?”  If you ever want to storm a castle, I’m your gal.

China’s a wonderful country.  I love the language.  Because it’s tonal, you’re singing all the time.  It’s like opera.  I saw a lot of beautiful things in China, and some that weren’t so … beautiful.  That’s where I learned that not all of the monsters in pre-modern texts were dolphins or elephants or someone’s opium nightmare.  Monsters are very real, and they are older than anything we know.

So, that’s why I got a call from an old friend saying I should come to Farmingham, New Hampshire.  This town is sporting the first new Hellmouth in I can’t tell you how long.  Well, I might be able to tell you how long but I’d have to think really hard, and besides, it would be depressing.  I used to get depressed a lot; it goes with the manic highs.  It was really bad after the divorce, but we all find ways to cope, don’t we?  Some people do therapy and Prozac, but I stick to the classics.  Ben Franklin said, "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."  I’ll drink to that.             

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